This Sunday is my birthday! I’m celebrating at Yellowstone National Park with my family, marking both my birthday and 10 years of living in the US. Here's a post about my reflections. If it resonates, leave a comment or DM.

As you know, I’m passionate about personal growth. To celebrate, I’m updating the structure of this newsletter just for today, to share key insights I’ve gathered over the years. I could have made a "33 things I know now at 33 that I wish I knew at 23" list, but as you know, I strive to keep things effective. So, I summarized everything into 18 key points—plus, 18 is one of my favorite numbers for obvious reasons.

Apologies for the long post, but it’s a once-a-year thing. I hope you find value in this list! Feel free to reply if anything resonates or share it with others. Let’s keep growing together!

18 Things I Learned About Personal Growth

On Self-Development

1. Don’t compare yourself to others - especially online. For example, today I'm turning 39. See how easy it was to lie? (ha!) Everyone curates a filtered version of their lives online. Social media is a highlight reel, not the whole story. Instead of comparing ourselves to others, let's focus on our own growth and reality. Authenticity beats comparison every time.

2. Pain is knowledge hitting hard. Imagine stubbing your toe - it hurts because it's a valuable lesson hitting your brain hard. Remember Michael Jordan's words: "Learning is a gift, even when pain is your teacher." Let’s embrace the lessons pain brings.

3. To become a kinder person, start by doing kind things. Behavioral Theory suggests our actions shape our character. For example, "doing kind things" doesn’t come naturally to me, but I want to be kinder, so I started taking action, even when it felt unnatural (like offering to take pictures for those struggling with selfies at Yellowstone today). As Aristotle said, "We are what we repeatedly do," so maybe one day I’ll become a nice person.

4. We can do it all! (Just not all at once). Success requires prioritization. I see a lot of people wanting to make money, but also have good work-life balance, and also work on something with a purpose. We can aim to achieve all of these things, but probably not everything at the same time. Focus on what’s most important now, and give it your all. Play the long game.

On Life Decisions

5. Living abroad boosts personal growth. In my experience, there’s nothing like living in another country. It challenges our worldview, helps us appreciate other cultures, and broadens our understanding of humanity. With time, I realized a lot of the things people eagerly discuss (and fight) about are all highly correlated to where they were born, so experiencing other realities can also be humbling.

6. Marry Someone You Admire. The person you marry will be one of the biggest decisions impacting your life. Careers, parenting, finances, and health - all will have their challenges. Choose someone you deeply admire - someone whose character, values, and outlook inspire you to become a better person. The rest will figure itself out.

7. “Most people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in ten years.” The hardest challenges often bring the greatest rewards, but long-term growth requires patience and overcoming short-term discomfort. In a world of instant gratification, be the one who persists, even when progress is slow or invisible - because the most worthwhile results come from consistent effort over time.

On Continuous Learning

8. We can’t master all essential skills - Seek experts. In a complex world, focus on mastering a few essential skills. For the rest, seek help from experts. This approach will save you time and enhance your results. The most important skills I see repeatedly needing expert support are: personal finances, nutrition, strength training, parenting, time management, and communication.

9. The best way to learn is to teach. The best way to deepen our understanding is to teach others. Don’t shy away from sharing your knowledge, even if no one’s watching/reading. The best way to excel at something is trying to explain it simply to others (h/t The Feynman Technique).

10. Master search skills. In a world overflowing with information, knowing how to search effectively is invaluable. Mastering the art of finding the right information can save time and open new opportunities. What used to be "Googling" is now all about "prompting."

11. Do the Right Things, Not Just Things Right. As Peter Drucker famously said, “There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.” In an era where everyone is seeking optimization, make sure your efforts align with your goals beforehand.

On Smart Spending

12. Justify something expensive by calculating its cost per use. When considering a big purchase, think about the cost per use. If you’d rent it for that amount, it’s likely worth the investment. On that note, expenses related to having a good night’s rest are usually worth it as we spend a third of our lives sleeping. Invest in that fancy mattress and pillow!

13. Match spending with your values. Our money and time spent should reflect what matters most to us. I always said that personal growth was a priority, but struggled to pay for courses and coaching. Now, I set a percentage of my time and budget to be spent on my values in advance to avoid this. Measure how much of your budget (time and money) aligns with what you value the most.

14. Dollar Cost Averaging and Compound Interest Are Keys to Wealth. Wealth-building isn’t about quick wins but consistent, disciplined (sometimes boring) investing. Dollar cost averaging and compound interest apply not just to money but to skills and reputation too.

On Influencing Others

15. Proactively shape others. I once read something that stuck "We often overestimate our influence on our own children and underestimate our impact on younger colleagues." Our actions leave a lasting mark, so don’t wait to be asked - reach out to mentor others. They’ll appreciate it, and you will fill your bucket.

16. Everyone’s Figuring It Out. No one has all the answers, so when dealing with uncertainty, present leaders with options, pros and cons, and an informed proposal. Remember, everyone’s learning as they go, make the decision-making process intuitive.

17. The power of communicating in threes. To communicate effectively, limit your points to three. Whether you’re making a case in favor of something or want to highlight key accomplishments, three is the magic number for clarity and impact. Two is too little, and four is usually too many.

18. Be extra kind to service workers. It’s easy to take service workers for granted. Practice empathy and kindness especially with them - small gestures make a big difference in their day. If you haven't worked in a service job, consider giving your kids that experience.

This list is the result of consuming, aggregating, and reflecting on a lot of content. I’m intentionally not calling this the list of "things I wish I knew 10 years ago." I don’t wish that. Every lesson learned, even the hard ones, has been invaluable. Without those experiences, I wouldn’t be here writing this now. [Side note: Candidly, maybe #14 on dollar cost averaging is something I wish I knew before]. Cheers to another year of growth!

Growthfully Yours,

Jorge Luis Pando